Remembering My Friend, Louise Hay

Next to my Root Teacher, Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati, there has likely been no one else in my life who has had a more profound impact on my personal and spiritual growth than my friend and teacher of eleven years, Dr. Louise L. Hay.

I first met Louise in 1987, shortly after being released from the hospital with a rare form of pneumonia for the second time. Four years earlier, I was brutally attacked, raped and beaten by four men in South Florida.

At the time, I was a young Franciscan-Buddhist contemplative, walking back to the monastery, when these men, who themselves had endured unthinkable discrimination and abuse at the hands of the police, since immigrating to this country, left me for dead on the streets of Hollywood, Florida.

But it would be in another Hollywood… this time West Hollywood, California, that my friend (and major crush) Louis Nassany, would take me and my boyfriend, Ronn, to a beautiful, poised and unassuming woman’s apartment on Santa Monica Boulevard, where about 20-30 other men were sitting, standing, and hanging on her every word, as she talked about our capacity for healing our lives.

Two weeks later, we were in a community centre in West Hollywood, and there were over 75 guys, then 90, and then more than 100 of us gathered for what had become known as “the Hay Rides”.

We were most men living with the dis-ease that had become known AIDS, and we were fighting for our lives.

Soon, the eighteen months in which doctors said I would be dead had come and gone. I’d begun healing my relationship with my family, with my spiritual tradition, and for the first time in my life, began unapologetically living a more authentic, loving and vibrant life as an openly-gay man.

Everything in my life began to become more “whole” during the eleven years that Louise was my teacher. Her monthly cards and letters encouraged me, inspired me, and resulted in my being privileged to become the founder of the Zenkondo Centre, and host of a weekly radio show, “Inner Alchemy – the Science of Spiritual Living”.

This morning, August 30th, 2017, my beloved friend, teacher and inspiration to millions, Louise L. Hay transitioned from this life in her sleep, at the age of ninety.

She will be missed, and her legacy will live on for generations.

Recognising the Unhealed Healer

kundalinirising2Healing is a natural aspect of transformation. But healing cannot begin in the hands of the unhealed healer. Upon recognising the presence of the unhealed healer in ourselves, we must begin within.

When we experience someone who is ill, or who has undergone surgery or some other difficult emotional or physiological circumstance, we recognise that our experience of their condition is an opportunity for us to heal something within our own minds.

The wheezing, hacking cough of the co-worker, may be an opportunity to realise there is something we need “to get off our chest”. The emergency heart surgery of a loved one, may represent unforgiven hurts that we’re afraid to let go of. That pain our neighbour feels in her back, may be a reminder of a burden we’re carrying, that’s weighing us down.

This isn’t to say those persons are experiencing their conditions because of us. Their conditions are, for them, an opportunity for them to heal something in their own lives.

My experience of Parkinson’s Disease may be a feeling that I am constricted by rigid and inflexible circumstances, beyond my immediate control. A weakened immune system may reflect that I feel like I have lost my ability to “fight back” in the face of injustice or lazy dharma practitioners. Even the thyroid condition I experience could be a need to address the feeling of complete imbalance in my present experience of life, and the toll I imagine those circumstances to be taking on me.

562058_10150647109752972_204769565_nWhen we come to understand that all of these beliefs arise from the chaotic data, playing on the hard drive of our subconscious mind… that they are, in essence, bullshit… healing spontaneously occurs.

And so we don’t focus on healing another. For pretending to be able to do so is little more than an ego trip. All healing can only occur within.

What’s more, there’s really nothing to “heal”… it’s just a matter of forgiving ourselves, and returning to the present moment.